8 Key Things To Do When Your Child Is Suspended From School (And Even Before!)

Parents are not usually prepared for a school suspension, which can come as a shock, and completely disrupt the day, week, or month (if it is extended prior to an expulsion). As such, this is an important article to read and pass on, as you never know when you may get "that call" from the elementary, junior high, or high school telling you to come pick up your child as they have been suspended. What do you do when you get the call your child is being suspended?

1) TAKE DOWN ALL RELEVANT INFORMATION IN WRITING: In that initial call, during meetings, in talks with your child, or otherwise, write down all information and keep it handy. Ensure you note down WHO you are talking to, WHAT is alleged to have happened, WHERE the event(s) allegedly took place, WHAT your child is alleged to have done, WHEN the activity supposedly happened, and HOW everything went down. Yes, this is "Journalism 101" but I was on the newspaper staff in high school (it paid off!). This information is critical to getting the whole story, and verifying you know everything.

2) STAY ON THE OFFENSE: In the school discipline process, often it can feel like "nothing can be done about it," and that a parent has no control. This is not true. Parents CAN do something about it and should always stay on the OFFENSE, going to bat for their child and attempting to SOLVE the problem at hand (suspension or otherwise) in the most positive way. Taking the steps here can help you to stay positive and may garner beneficial results.

3) MEET WITH SCHOOL STAFF AND WITNESSES: Go down to the school immediately after the call, if possible, BEFORE your child leaves and meet with the staff to go over exactly what is alleged. LISTEN a lot! Gather the facts. Try to set up a meeting with the alleged witnesses to the situation. For example, if the PE (Physical Education) teacher saw an alleged exchange of knives, weapons, drugs, etc. see if they can come in to the office RIGHT THEN to discuss the matter. Take copious notes as usual.

4) DON'T SIGN ANYTHING: Need I say more? Don't sign the suspension form (be ready and willing for the school to note "parent refused to sign"on the form). Don't have your child sign anything either.

5) RESTRICT THE INFORMATION YOUR CHILD PROVIDES: During the entire suspension and pre-suspension (e.g. investigation) process, it is not a good idea to have your child answer questions, write or sign a statement, or give any information. Politely refusing to provide information may be very difficult, as it is tough to not give into pressure, taunts, threats of increased punishment, intimidating adults, a cop dangling potential juvenile detention, or otherwise. A child may be scared, but parents, you must teach your child to politely decline to give, write, sign, etc. information or a statement. You will have to work out how best to achieve this goal in a way that does not look like the child is being difficult and/or is guilty. Please note, this is MOST important with school expulsion, but as what is said during a suspension investigation could be used for expulsion, it is also important during the suspension process. Make the school do the work and don't hand them an admission. Admissions can lead to not only suspensions, but also expulsion, a ticket from the School Resource Officer (cop), and other bad things.

6) DO NOT HAVE YOUR CHILD IN THE ROOM DURING YOUR MEETINGS: Self-explanatory considering number 5. We don't want the school to be inspecting your child's reactions.

7) ASK FOR A LESSER AND/OR NO PUNISHMENT: Remember "It can't hurt to ask?" Well, that statement is as true here as everywhere in life. Ask for no punishment, or an alternative punishment (e.g. detention?), and that is what you may receive.

8) FILE A SUSPENSION APPEAL: Occasionally, districts actually have a suspension appeal process. For example, in Elk Grove Unified School District (Elk Grove, California), there is an actual written process and forms to complete. Most districts do not have any formal suspension appeal process in place, BUT that does not mean you should not inquire about an appeal and go up the administrative line. Ask the school and the district if there is a suspension appeal process, THE DAY OF THE SUSPENSION. If there IS a process, follow it. If there is not, simply go up the chain of command. If you met with the Vice Principal initially, call the Principal next, then the District office, etc. Make some polite noise and you may get the suspension overturned or shortened.

Parents, please keep this list handy and pass it on to anyone you know who has kids in school. You may not think "this could happen to you," (or your friends) but it happens to thousands of parents weekly. For the most part, parents simply don't know what to do, or how best to proceed when struck with a student suspension. You can do something about it.

Michelle Ball, student attorney, has been helping California parents and students since 1995 in a variety of education law matters, including discipline (expulsion, suspension, behavior contract, other), special education (IEP, 504, assessments, qualification, placement, related services, etc.), sports, discrimination, bullying and with other school problems. She assists with school issues from pre-K through post-secondary and only represents students. THIS ARTICLE WAS WRITTEN BASED ON CALIFORNIA LAW BY A CALIFORNIA ATTORNEY, AND MAY NOT BE APPLICABLE IN OTHER STATES AND/OR TO YOUR MATTER (IN CALIFORNIA OR NOT). PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT THIS DOES NOT CONSTITUTE LEGAL ADVICE NOR FORM AN ATTORNEY CLIENT RELATIONSHIP. AN ATTORNEY SHOULD BE CONSULTED IN ALL LEGAL MATTERS.

Michelle Ball,
Education Law Attorney,
LAW OFFICE OF MICHELLE BALL
717 K Street, Suite 228
Sacramento, CA 95814
Phone: 916-444-9064
Fax: 916-444-1209
Website: http://www.edlaw4students.com/
Blog: http://edlaw4students.blogspot.com/.
If you know someone who has an education issue in California, please have them contact my office. I offer both in person and phone consultations, and have assisted parents in expulsion, special ed, and many other school matters since 1995.

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Myths About Child Abuse

Turn on the TV and it is not hard to hear about the child molestation accusations that were made against Jerry Sandusky in the last two months. If you are like me it is difficult to wrap your mind around the possibility of a coach molesting children, especially someone in a mentoring role. Here are a few myths that I think that are worth squashing about child abuse.

Only bad people abuse their children.
Fact: Not all abusers intentionally harm their children. Many have been victims of abuse themselves and don't know any other way to communicate.

Child Abuse doesn't happen in "good" families.
Fact: This crosses all racial, economic, and cultural lines. Sometimes families who seem to have it all from the outside can have a completely different story behind closed doors.

Most child abusers are strangers.
Fact: A lot of times the abuser is a family member or a person who has some sort of a relationship with the family, such as a teacher, coach, or a neighbor.

If someone you know has been abused there is help; this is not something that should stay hidden like it did years ago. Below are some items to consider when bringing a lawsuit against someone that has abused a child.

Bringing a Lawsuit for Child Abuse
Time is of the essence. There is "statue of limitations" which is the time limit for when you are permitted to bring a lawsuit. Our office will be able to help you to learn more about the time limits for bringing a child abuse lawsuit in your area.

Civil vs. Criminal Court

Civil Suit- involves the victim suing the person who committed the child abuse against them in order to recover monetary damages for their injuries. If you want to sue someone for your child abuse injuries, or are being sued by the victim for money, you would be in civil court and would need an experienced personal injury lawyer.

Criminal Suit -involves a person who is being prosecuted by the district attorney's office for committing child abuse against a victim.

Victim of Abuse
If you or a loved one has been a victim of child abuse, you should speak to a lawyer immediately to learn more about preserving your rights and seeking remedies. A lawyer will be able to explain the value of your case and help you navigate through the complicated legal process.

All medical personnel, clergy, law enforcement, state agency employees and teachers are legally mandated to report their suspicions, but child abuse often goes unreported and can injure a whole community. Remember, when a child is abused, it is everybody's business.

Howard Ankin founded the Ankin Law Office LLC over 14 years ago; the firm is known and respected as one of Chicago's top Workers' Compensation and Personal Injury Law practices. With extensive experience practicing personal injury, workers compensation, wrongful death, social security disability, and criminal and civil litigation, Howard has devoted his professional life to seeking justice on behalf of his clients and providing superior legal support for all of its clients.

If you need legal representation, please contact Ankin Law Offices LLC (howardankin@ankinlaw.com) and let us walk you through the legal landscape in a confidential consultation. We will listen to you. Our personal injury, workers compensation, and motor vehicle accident lawyers give clients straightforward legal advice and a clear understanding of the legal steps we will follow in resolving your legal issues.

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8 Costly Mistakes to Avoid When Planning for Your Special Needs Child

Proper estate planning is important for everyone, regardless or age or wealth, but for parents of a special needs child, smart planning is essential. Improper planning (or worse, no planning at all) could leave your child without the resources he or she so desperately needs, or even disqualify him/her from vital government benefits. This article addresses 8 common, and costly, planning mistakes that such parents must avoid if they want to protect their special needs child.

COSTLY MISTAKE #1: Disinheriting the child. Many disabled people rely on SSI, Medicaid or other government benefits to provide food and shelter. You may have been advised to disinherit your disabled child (the child who needs your help most!) to protect that child's public benefits. But these benefits rarely provide more than subsistence, and this "solution" does not allow you to help your child after you are incapacitated or gone. When your child requires -- or is likely to require -- governmental assistance to meet their basic needs, you should consider establishing a Special Needs Trust.

COSTLY MISTAKE #2: Ignoring the special needs when creating a trust for the child. A Trust that is not designed with your child's special needs in mind will probably render your child ineligible for essential benefits. The Special Needs Trust is designed to promote the disabled person's comfort and happiness without sacrificing eligibility. Special needs can include medical and dental expenses not covered by Medicaid, cutting edge or non-traditional treatments or therapies, necessary or desirable equipment (such as specially equipped vans), training and education, insurance, transportation, and essential dietary needs. If the trust is sufficiently funded, the disabled person can also receive computers, books, games, vacations, movies, payments for a companion, and other self-esteem and quality-of-life enhancing expenses -- the sorts of things you now provide.

COSTLY MISTAKE #3: Creating a "generic" Special Needs Trust that doesn't fit. Even some Special Needs Trusts are unnecessarily inflexible and generic. In most cases, an attorney with some knowledge of the area can prevent a trust from invalidating the child's public benefits; however, many trusts are not customized to the child's specific needs. As a result, the child fails to receive the benefits that the parent provided when they were alive. Another mistake is when lawyers put a "pay-back" provision into the trust rather than allowing the remainder of the trust to go to others upon the death of the special needs child. These pay-back provisions are necessary in certain types of Special Needs Trusts -- and not necessary in others. An attorney who knows when they should be used can save your family hundreds of thousand of dollars, or more.

COSTLY MISTAKE #4: Procrastinating. Because none of us knows when we may die or become incapacitated, it is important to plan for your special needs child early, just as you would for other dependents, such as minor children. Unlike other beneficiaries, your special needs child may never be able to compensate for your failure to plan. A child without special needs can obtain more resources as he or she reaches adulthood and can work to meet essential needs. Your special needs child may not have that opportunity.

COSTLY MISTAKE #5: Failing to invite other people to contribute to the trust. A key benefit of creating the trust now is that your extended family and friends can make gifts to the trust or remember the trust as they plan their own estates. In addition to the gifts and inheritances from other people who love your child, you can leave your own assets to the trust in your will. You can also name the trust as a beneficiary of life insurance and retirement benefits.

COSTLY MISTAKE #6: Choosing the wrong trustee. During your life, you and your spouse can manage the trust. When you and your spouse are no longer able to serve as trustee, the person or persons you specify in the trust instructions will become the new trustee, such as a professional trustee or a team of advisors. Make sure that whomever you choose is financially savvy, well-organized, and ethical.

COSTLY MISTAKE #7: Relying on your other children to use their money for the benefit of your special needs child. This can be a temporary solution, such as during a brief incapacity, if your other children are financially secure and have money to spare. However, because of the potential problems, this solution will not protect your child after you and your spouse have died or when siblings have their own expenses and financial priorities. For example...

What if your child with the money divorces? His or her spouse may be entitled to half of the funds and will not likely care for your special needs child.
What if your child with the money dies or becomes incapacitated while your special needs child is still living? Will his or her heirs care for your special needs child as thoughtfully and completely as your child with the money did?
What if your child with the money loses a lawsuit and has to pay a large judgment or has other creditor problems? The court will certainly require your child to turn that money over to his or her creditors.

When you create a Special Needs Trust, you protect all of your children. The trust facilitates easier record-keeping and allows your other children to rely on the assistance of a professional trustee, if needed. Siblings of a special needs child often feel a great responsibility for that child, as they have all of their lives. When you provide clear instructions and a helpful framework, you lessen the burden on all of your children and build a loving, involved relationship that benefits your child with special needs.

COSTLY MISTAKE #8: Failing to protect the special needs child from predators. Thieves, con men and other criminals look to take advantage of those who are most vulnerable, like your special needs child. A child trapped in the system with precious little resources and without anyone to look after their affairs can easily fall prey to these predators. When you establish a Special Needs Trust and properly structure your estate plan to protect your special needs child, you ensure that your child will never be left alone, will always be provided for, and will always have a trustworthy person -- either a guardian or trustee, or both -- watching over them.

Questions or Comments? Please don't hesitate to call or email me. Visit our website for contact info.

Joseph P. Donlon, Esq., CFP is thefounder of Donlon & Associates, PC, a boutique law firm dedicated to providing high quality, focused legal counsel to clients of all ages and wealth levels in the following areas:

Wills & Trusts
Asset Protection Planning
Estate Tax Planning
Elder Law
Special Needs Trusts
Probate & Estate Administration

Donlon & Associates, PC serves clients throughout New York City, Long Island, Westchester, and Northern New Jersey. These areas include Nassau County, Suffolk County, Westchester County, Queens, Brooklyn, Manhattan, Staten Island, Hoboken, Jersey City, Hudson County, and Bergen County.

Please visit us at http://www.donlonlaw.com/

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Child Custody Disputes Involving Gay and Lesbian Parents

Millions of gay men and lesbian women across the nation have biological or adoptive children. With modern technology and medical advances, some of these same-sex couples are now having children together through assisted reproduction techniques. Gay men can use a surrogate to carry a child that will be born from one partner's sperm and a donor egg, and lesbian women can bear children with a donor's sperm. However, a majority of individuals in gay or lesbian relationships became parents in the context of a previous heterosexual relationship or marriage. Once the individual comes out as gay or lesbian, he or she usually wants child custody even in their new partnership situation. Therefore, when a lesbian or gay man is involved in a child custody dispute with the other parent, it is likely that the dispute will be with a heterosexual person.

This type of child custody dispute has only become popular in the last decade. Back in the 1960's when anti-gay discrimination was widespread, it was common for gay and lesbian parents to be stripped of their parental rights altogether. It wasn't until 1967 that things began to change for the gay and lesbian community. In Nadler v. Superior Court, the California Court of Appeal reprimanded a trial court for ruling that a lesbian mother was presumptively unfit. With this ruling, the state of California set the precedent for the next couple of decades, in which courts in most states adopted a similar evidence-based, child-centered approach for child custody cases.

Today, only a few states remain in which courts are permitted to automatically presume that a lesbian or gay parent is unfit to be a child's primary custodian. States that have adopted a nondiscriminatory approach include Georgia, Mississippi, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Arkansas, South Carolina, West Virginia, and more. However, discrimination against gay and lesbian parents still exists in subtle forms. For example, some state courts may prohibit divorced parents from living with an unmarried partner as a condition of custody or visitation rights. Courts may also rule that parents cannot bring their children to religious services that affirm lesbian or gay people.

Even though the court prejudice has dramatically improved over the last forty years, gay and lesbian parents are still the victims of discrimination in custody and visitation cases in some states. When determining custody rights, it is the responsibility of the court to take into consideration the parent-child relationship and certain factors that are involved, such as the length of the relationship between the adults, and whether or not the parent already lives with the child. The court must also consider the intentions of both partners to work together, and if there were any parenting agreements signed. Despite several court victories and overall improvements in California and other states, gay and lesbian parents seeking custody of their children may face court discrimination in some states. If you are a gay or lesbian parent seeking to win custody rights of your children after a divorce, a skilled divorce lawyer can provide the dedicated legal counsel you need to fight for your rights in court.

The attorneys at Hanson, Gorian & Bradford are skilled in handling all types of family law and divorce cases. We are committed to helping clients during the difficult times surrounding divorce, custody and visitation disputes. Our firm is passionate about providing clients with personalized attention outside of the courtroom, and we are always available to answer your questions and concerns. A Riverside divorce attorney at our firm will provide compassionate support and legal guidance during your case, and will fight for your rights in court. Regardless of whether you are fighting for child support, child custody or dealing with spousal support issues, we have the resources you need to succeed in any type of family law case. Our firm helps individuals and families throughout the Riverside area with dedicated and experienced legal counsel, and we can help you achieve your legal objectives as well. Contact a Riverside divorce attorney or visit our website at http://www.divorceattorneysriverside.com/ to learn more about what we can do for you.

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Adopting a Child

Couples and single parents have thousands of reasons why they adopt a child, but perhaps the most obvious of all reasons is that these parents want to share their love to the child. Most adoptions work out good and foster parents even treat the child as their own, giving the child all their best and even seeing them go off to college and be a great child along the way. However, more than just realizing your parental and emotional responsibility for the adopted child you must also realize your legal responsibilities, because the moment you adopt that child you become its legal parent.

What's Involved? There are a dozen of processes at least involved in adopting a child, adopting a child is not like shopping for a cat in an animal shelter where you pick one and go home then give it some cuddles. No, unfortunately it doesn't work that way because child adoptions are usually coordinated with a private or a government agency. These groups or government agencies will oversee the adoption which includes doing a background check on the adopting party. They will ensure that the adopting parents have no criminal record of any kind and that they are good natured and will not hurt the child physically or emotionally, so psychological checks will also be conducted. If you passed all the checks and interviews and if the social worker see you as a fit parent to take care of the child, then you will be allowed to adopt the child. Remember that the social worker's goal is to ensure the child's safety and happiness in your home.

Choosing a Child The child you will choose is entirely up to you, but it's very easy to love kids. They are adorable little angels and all they want is the love and trust of a parent that they may have missed since their birth. There's no need for chemistry for your relationship to work out, you love the child and they love you back you just have to be good and kind to them. Some foster homes have a diversified child population so you may choose not only American children, but kids of other descents as well.

Consulting with a Family Lawyer In order to secure the adopted child's future you will have to go through a legal process to make the child part of your family. This is why you may need to go see and consult with a family lawyer to discuss about child adoption, its process, your responsibilities to the child and other things. Remember that it is you who will benefit the most in seeing a lawyer because they know the law and they can serve as a guide every step of the way in you wanting to adopt a child.

Are you getting a divorce or planning to fight over child custody with your spouse? Do you have an unsettled dispute with someone and you're in need of expert help? Then perhaps it's time that you go see a Toronto Family Lawyer in order to get assistance in matters such as this. Visit their website at http://toronto-family-lawyer.com/ to get consultation and expert advice on divorce, legal family issues and other things which may require the help of a family lawyer.

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